What is a holiday without a complete panic attack/meltdown at the table with your family? Thankfully, I managed to keep most of my meltdown on the inside. However, tears flowed as I bowed my head and people saw it and then I was crying out of frustration. Which was even worse because then I couldn't just excuse myself to the restroom to gather my emotions and breathe. I took a few days to reflect and it is actually a blessing. I was able to see that I was having a trauma response. It made me realize that I still have some feelings that I need to process. I have some things to work through and I didn't even realize it! I would love to tell the people who saw me cry why I was crying, but I've only managed to tell one person without falling into another puddle of tears. I think I'll work on myself first. That's really all I can change, anyway. It is amazing how things can disrupt our lives when we least expect them to. Isn't that what spurs us to grow? The periods of the most growth tend to bloom thanks to the rain showers of discomfort. I hope I keep this in perspective in the stormy moments ahead of me and I'm able to sit back and wait for the flowers. I have a feeling those blooms will be magnificent!
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