Several years ago I made the choice that I needed to surround myself with healthy people. Despite starting to think about this years ago it turns out took me until 2021 to really start focusing on making this a reality. I want the five people in my life I spend the most time with to be people that I desire to be like. I call them the people on my hand. (Five fingers on my hand...five people in my life.) I looked at healthy people around me and what it was they did that I didn't do. How would having them in my life influence me?
It comes down to some very simple things for me. I want people in my life who are loving, honest, God-fearing, hard-working, kind people that live lives of service. I want people who were growing and pushing themselves to always be better and do better. Women and men who are ok admitting when they've made a mistake and taking it as an opportunity to grow. I've witnessed what stagnant complacency produces and I want no part of it. I want better for myself.
It was very simple for me to decide what attributes were important to me and decide who to work on building my relationships with. I found it simple to sort out the good influences in my life and the bad. From there I simply chose which relationships to invest time and effort into, and where to seek out new ones.
The difficult part came when I had a handful of people in my life who were good people, but not people who I wanted to be like. It wasn't a judgmental thing and had noting to do with them. They are free to make the choices they make about their lives. However, when I sat and really looked at their lives and how they influence me, I realized there some people I love dearly who just can't have a seat at my table constantly. I need people in my life who desire to make God the center of their lives and live for Him, so that when I seek their counsel, I can trust that they give wise counsel. I want them to have the same vision and goals I do.
It doesn't mean I stopped being friends with people who don't share that desire. I simply had to weigh how much time and influence they spent in my life (and in my ear). God was very gracious. While a few people were removed from my day-to-day life in not so delightful ways, either by choices they made or circumstances beyond my control, most of these people just kind of faded out. After all, I have no issues with them, just their influence on me.
It felt very selfish at first. I had to question if I was being too judgmental. The bottom line was that I was the person who had to step away because I am the person who was being too easily influenced. It is my own shortcomings, rather than something to do with the other person. I don't love or care for those people any less. I just don't spend as much time with them.
I've been praying that this was the right choice and that God would show me that sign. I've prayed that God would help my earthly, tiny mind see that I was doing the right thing. And dang it, y'all, God came through for me! I was talking to someone on the phone about this and she laughed at me. Her response was like, "Who'd've thunk it?! You make God the priority in your life and He blesses you? Get outta here!"
Next up? Tying in to a good body of believers and dragging my booty to church!
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