I've wanted to write for a while now. Life has been so full and every hour seems to be taken up in the best ways. (Work, road trips, bonfires, new restaurants, stargazing, jazz clubs, baseball games, etc.) Tonight, thanks to a bunch of steroids, I cannot sleep. Or maybe I just wasn't able to turn off my mind? So here I sit, trying to get out thoughts I've had. There are some random things I've been reflecting on lately and they all seem to center around relationships. Usually either the relationship I have with myself, or the relationships I have with others.
Love. I've been very fortunate to have love in my life. I am reminded daily, that I am loved and that I matter. Tangible expressions of love are so critical to having a good life. I hope you are loved as you deserve to be, and you are told. Authenticity. I have a friend who has been a shining example of living an authentic life. She is who she is. You either love her or you don't. Not everyone was meant to be a part of your tribe and that is ok. While we might not always know why someone is or isn't meant to be a passenger in our life's journey, we can always be certain that their place in our lives is exactly what God wants it to be. Selection. I've become much more selective in the people I allow to have access to my life. It has been a constant source of entertainment to hear what others are saying about me and my choices. In particular, people who haven't been in my life in years, yet still have opinions about the life choices I'm making NOW. I chuckle when I hear something come down the pike because it is usually so completely off base, that someone else is telling me about it to make me laugh. The bottom line is that people who are not in my life don't actually know what is going on in my life. I shall let them have their judgements. They don't change my life at all. I don't feel a need to validate the inaccuracies in their narrative. God will sort them out.
Closure. I spent many years thinking that I needed closure in relationships that were not moving forward. Man! I wish I had all that time back. The closure came when they talked about me behind my back, rather than to my face. The closure came when they hurt people I love. The closure came when they chose pious judgement over love. The closure came when they lied to me about what they thought about me. The closure came when I decided to stay away from people who act like victims in a problem they've created. The closure came with a locked door that I don't ever plan on opening again. Contribution. As I've thought about all the things this life has given me, I've begun to really examine what I'm giving back to others. Am I present, loving, and kind? Am I seizing the opportunities that I ask God for when he brings them into my life? When I put others before myself, I am better. I'm also happier. Focus. When relationships come with complicated emotions, how do you keep your focus and not get caught in the endless spin cycle of emotions? For me, that is easy. I focus on God. All the other things then start to fade away. I also focus on my own life and my life alone. I mind my business. I know the power of having an emotion, feeling or idea that you keep to yourself. I've learned more from shutting my mouth and listening than I have ever learned in speaking and asking questions. Again, focus. If it doesn't involve me, or it is someone else's problem, I'll mind my own business. In fact, I think I'll go do that now and try to get a nap in before I have to get up and work!
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