Spoiler alert: It is me!
Since I'm home all day with a black lab I talk to her a lot. Not in a, "did you hear about this news story..." crazy person kind of way. 😂 But I know her life is small living in my house so I try to make everything exciting.
"You want to go outside?! Potty party! Let's go to the potty party!"
I'm basically her hype girl. My dog, Winnie, knows over 100 commands now. It blows my parents away when we are at their house, they hear me say full sentences to her, and she understands me. There is also sign language with every command in case I’m on a Zoom call.
"You want a Freshie?" Is getting a new tennis ball.
"Go lay down."
"Last call." Is the last bathroom break before we go to bed.
"Treat?"
"Dranks?" Is when we go out to the garage to get water.
"Chompers" is when she chomps her teeth wanting me to throw a ball.
"Mind yo business," means to back up when she's licked dishes as I load a dishwasher.
Y’all get it.
Yesterday the Amazon lady was delivering Winnie's monthly shipment of treats.
Now, it's important to know I have the front facing bedroom in my house and my room is always too hot so I've had my window open for weeks.
As the Amazon girl walks up the driveway I'm loudly saying, "You ain't got no ball!" Another command, inspired by Forrest Gump’s comment on Lt. Dan’s legs.
Amazon lady stops dead in her tracks thinking someone is talking to her. I forgot she could hear me through the open window.
Then Winnie sees her and starts barking. I hop up with her and start cheering, "Treats are here! Treats are here!"
After dropping the package on the porch the delivery driver stopped in my driveway and just looked at my house with her hands on our hips for a solid five seconds before shaking her head.
And now I know EVERY neighbor has been hearing me talk to my dog every dang day.
I can't show my face at a neighborhood event ever again.
Worth it.
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