Edit: Gene passed just before midnight on Saturday evening. I received the news while sitting on the beach, under the stars, with my best friend. After some big, heavy sobs and prayers for comfort for all of us here on this side of heaven, I thanked God for letting Gene be a part of my life. As I finished praying and my friend hugged me I whispered, "I'm just really going to miss him." In that instant I saw the biggest, brightest shooting star I've ever seen in all my many, many years of gazing upwards. It had the longest tail trailing behind it. It stayed visible for a solid four seconds.
Last night my father called and woke me up to share with me the saddest of news. The man who was my second father is in his final days. For the record, it is NOT a fun way to wake up. I picked up my phone and texted both of my brothers to share the news as the sadness settled in amongst us.
After some technical talks of logistics, getting further details, and talking about when we might be heading to Austin, it all started to set in, and so did the tears. Big, Texas-sized tears for a giant of a man.
Gene was my father's best friend. They grew up together in the same small town and continued to be a constant in each other's lives for the next six decades. He has been there for me at all the moments in my life, both happy and sad. When my parents were living overseas and I was hospitalized with pneumonia, he'd come and sit with me for hours every night after he got off of work. When I found myself in rehab for alcohol addiction, he visited me there and prayed with me. When I brought home a new boyfriend to meet my parents he and my father would administer a test to grill them to see if they were worthy of dating me. (I'm not kidding, there was an actual, written exam.) Gene was just always there.
The cruelest part of being blessed with such love and friendship in your life is the emptiness you feel when it is gone. I'm thankful it won't be forever. If Gene was anything he was a very strong man of faith and I take comfort in knowing that I'll get to see him again sometime in a place free from these earthly pains.
As I sat here writing this morning I was really struggling over what to write. Everything I started to put down seemed inadequate to sum up someone who was such an integral part of my life. I've decided the best way to capture how much he is loved and missed, is to share my random memories. Thinking of these things is also how our family is able to smile and laugh through our heavy tears of sadness. Reminiscing on these happy moments is something Gene would have loved.
I cannot hear this song without thinking of Gene. For a while it was even his ringtone when he called me. To others this might seem like an odd song to post while writing about the loss of my second father. It's not. He would totally get it.
Not many people knew him as "Gene Gene the Dancing Machine," but I was well aware of his love of dancing and disco. (This probably comes as a shock to my friends who only knew him as the quiet, reserved, genius at all our gatherings.) We loved this song and he made me promise him once that'd we'd dance to this song at my wedding reception. As the Alzheimer's swiftly settled in and stole him away from us, I remember this song coming on the radio one day while I was driving. I cried. It was the first time I realized we probably wouldn't be dancing to this at my wedding. Sadly, this week that became a set in stone reality.
It wasn't just disco that Gene appreciated. He loved country music too. We were shocked when we found out Gene had never been to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. (The largest rodeo in the world.) For Christmas one year we surprised him with tickets to go to Rodeo and see one of his favorites perform: Zac Brown Band.
He tried his first fried Twinkie, and we had a great time. I'm so thankful I snapped a few photos that night.
That was one of the best things about him. He was always up for anything. If there was an adventure to be had it didn't take too much convincing to get him to tackle it with us.
When Charlie Sheen went on his Giant Torpedo of Truth Tour in 2011 we thought it would be hysterical to actually get tickets and go. So go we did. We found this misspelled sign that made Gene really laugh and he asked me to take his picture with it. The photo became my first post to Instagram. That night we were thoroughly entertained by the people watching and Gene even high-fived Charlie Sheen. Another epic memory for the books.
Gene liked cookies. My mother would often bake cookies for him on the weekends and would make sure he left their house with fresh cookies for the week. In fact, our entire family went years without having my mom's peanut butter cookies because she refused to make them since Gene didn't like peanut butter cookies. Every year when Christmas rolled around Gene and I raced to see who found the first box of white fudge covered Oreos and we'd buy them for the other person.
There was more than one year where we both showed up with boxes for each other in hand, convinced we'd found them before the other person. We'd just smile a shrug as we bore the terrible burden of now having two boxes to eat, rather than just one!
At one point Gene was traveling a lot for work and before one of his trips to London we had this conversation.
Gene: Anything you want me to bring you back from London?
Me: Paul McCartney.
Gene (breaking out in laughter with an eye roll): Yeah, I'll see what I can do, Jen.
He returned the next week with what exactly I'd asked for.
While in London he found a Paul McCartney Starbucks gift card. I used it for years because it made me smile. While we both loved coffee we shared a mutual hatred for how sicky sweet most Starbucks drinks are. I'll never forget the year we discovered the Chestnut Praline Latte around the holidays. A holiday drink we both greatly enjoyed! I make sure I order at least one every year and will forever think of him when I drink them.
For my 30th birthday my parents, Gene and I traveled to Mexico. So many memories were made!
Far too much tequila and sun led to wonderful memories of being in a taxi while singing George Strait songs at the top of our lungs, between bouts of him venting about corporate America. I'll never forget coming back from the beach and our driver observing Gene's behavior and simply asking my father, "Cerveza?" My father said, "No. Tequila." The taxi driver nodded in understanding even though he spoke not one word of English.
At the beginning of our vacation Gene had the biggest, most beautiful bouquet of yellow roses delivered to my room for my birthday. I wish I could have brought them back into the country to dry them but customs did not allow it. So thankful I snapped this photo of them.
A true testament to what a good and kind man Gene was is how much he loved my dogs, and even more so, how much my dogs loved him.
My first dog, Molly, adored Gene and would constantly sit ON TOP OF his feet. This led to Gene changing his seating position, and getting gifted black socks from me and Molly one Christmas.
Sadly, Molly had cancer and I had to put her down. Gene went with me to pick up my next puppy, Riggins, and loved him too. He always said hello to "Rig", as he called him, and fully supported my decision to name my dog after a fictional football player from Friday Night Lights; a show Gene and I both loved.
I'm sure, much to my father's and Gene's chagrin, one of the more surprising and delightful parts of their lives was the friendship their kids had and continue to share with each other.
The countless nights we partied on Sixth Street in Austin or in Midtown Houston, when we were in college, are full of good times. (Some we remember, some we don't.) As we got older we'd go see Gene referee high school football together, go get tattoos together, and always grab a meal when we found ourselves in the same city. Even now, as we get married, and have children, we still remain a part of each other's live. Gene and my father's legacy of friendship has been passed down to us and what a sweet gift it is.
For the rest of my days, until I see him again in heaven, I was always remember him like this; rolling is eyes and laughing along at the crazy antics of our family.
Gene, our family will feel your absence so deeply until we are reunited. But, man. How lucky we were to feel your love!
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